Dear Chloe,
As I sit here in our lounge room, listening to you helping
daddy in the garden of our new home, contemplating just how much our lives are
going to change come September. It makes me so blissfully happy, but sad as
well. You see, for the last two and a half years, you have always been the
light of my life, you have always been the thing that I race home from work to
see, to smother with love and kisses, and you have been my most favourite
person in the whole wide world. But come September, when your little brother or
sister arrives, I won’t be able to say that, because it won’t be fair on them, just
as it hasn’t been on your beautiful, understanding father. And as I type this,
I am already crying, because for now, I can’t even begin to fathom how I will
be able to do that, because so much of who I am centres around my unconditional,
unlimited, uncontrollable love for you!
You, my beautiful first born daughter, you.
You... were the first one who hurled me so unexpectedly into
this crazy world of motherhood. The first one who made my heart fill with so
much love I felt like it would burst from my chest. You were the first one to
hold my pinkie as I stumbled and bumbled my way through the first nappy
changes, the first breastfeeds, the first sleepless nights, and all those times
of squeezing you into so many ridiculously cute first outfits. You were the
first one whose giggle and smile, levelled me and made me hold my breath in awe
of just how beautiful you are and how
lucky we are to have you. You, my darling daughter, are the first one who took
her first steps in front of us both because deep down, I'm sure your beautiful heart knew we both wanted to be there
for such a special milestone. You were the first one who made me cry happy
tears each time you held my face, kissed me and told me you loved me lots and
lots and lots. And you are the first to hear I love you more than 20 times a
day. You were the first one to know what my heart beat sounds like, from the inside.
But our baby is coming, and while you will no longer be our
only child, you’ll be the only one to know what it’s like to have my undivided
attention, the only one to know what it’s like to have their needs consistently
put first, the only one to have known the adventures of our first home and a
trip to Japan, Brisbane, Hobart, Melbourne, Maitland, even the shops as our
only child. You will be the only one to know what it was like to not have to
share their toys, their food, and their mum and dad. So whilst you will no
longer be our only child, find comfort in the fact that you will always be our
first. Our first newborn, our first infant, our first toddler, our first true love
as parents.
So dear daughter, although our lives will change come September, never doubt
just how truly loved you are, know that our love for you will remain as
constant and as unchanging as the moon. That we will continue to love you to the moon and back and tell you more than 20 times a day. And even when you are no longer our only
child and no longer able to reap the benefits of all that, that means, know that
we have more than enough love for you both, because our heart now knows no
limits to the love we can give, because of you.
You, our beautiful first born daughter, you.
xxx
